[Marianne means that wholeheartedly. Claude's an unconventional leader, but he's been a perfect one to her. She'll follow him to the ends of the world, if he needs her to.
The direction question of why causes her to tense up immediately, her hands making small fists in her lap. Her first insinct, a thought that occurs to her before she even recognizes it as such, is to apologize for wasting Maruki's time and bolt. She fights that back--it defeats the entire purpose of everything leading up to this moment. He's here to help her, right?
That means she has to let him.]
I-I think "recovery" is the right word. [Marianne shifts in her seat, not able to look up at Maruki as she speaks.] You see, growing up and up until very recently I believed that I was doomed to a life of misery. I come from an ill-fated bloodline, and I have a Crest that's considered a curse to all who bear it. My... my father had the same crest, and my parents died because of it. There were people who blamed me for it. Said my Crest turned me into a beast and...
[Her voice breaks a bit, and she pauses to take a breath and steady herself. After a shake of the head, she continues--or, rather, picks up at a slightly different part of her story.]
At my worst, I wanted nothing more than to die. But thanks to Claude, and our professor, and all of the friends I've made, I've been able to confront the worst of it. We proved that I didn't turn into a beast and kill anyone, and I truly believe that I'm not nearly as cursed as I thought I was.
[At that, at least, she lifts her head and manages a small smile. It quickly fades, however.]
However, recently I find myself slipping back into old feelings. Some recent happenings here made me feel like the hopeless girl I used to be. And I'm worried about that.
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cw: brief mention of suicidal ideation
Date: 2021-09-11 11:35 pm (UTC)[Marianne means that wholeheartedly. Claude's an unconventional leader, but he's been a perfect one to her. She'll follow him to the ends of the world, if he needs her to.
The direction question of why causes her to tense up immediately, her hands making small fists in her lap. Her first insinct, a thought that occurs to her before she even recognizes it as such, is to apologize for wasting Maruki's time and bolt. She fights that back--it defeats the entire purpose of everything leading up to this moment. He's here to help her, right?
That means she has to let him.]
I-I think "recovery" is the right word. [Marianne shifts in her seat, not able to look up at Maruki as she speaks.] You see, growing up and up until very recently I believed that I was doomed to a life of misery. I come from an ill-fated bloodline, and I have a Crest that's considered a curse to all who bear it. My... my father had the same crest, and my parents died because of it. There were people who blamed me for it. Said my Crest turned me into a beast and...
[Her voice breaks a bit, and she pauses to take a breath and steady herself. After a shake of the head, she continues--or, rather, picks up at a slightly different part of her story.]
At my worst, I wanted nothing more than to die. But thanks to Claude, and our professor, and all of the friends I've made, I've been able to confront the worst of it. We proved that I didn't turn into a beast and kill anyone, and I truly believe that I'm not nearly as cursed as I thought I was.
[At that, at least, she lifts her head and manages a small smile. It quickly fades, however.]
However, recently I find myself slipping back into old feelings. Some recent happenings here made me feel like the hopeless girl I used to be. And I'm worried about that.