( she wouldn't be the first person to get tetchy about it. he understands the caution and nods once more. )
I know asking you to be open about things like this can be stressful, but everything in these sessions is kept private. I answer to no one, my assistant is under strict instructions to never handle patient files, and this office is warded to prevent break ins. ( now, if she agreed to be a case study, we might have a different conversation, but he doesn't think she needs him to get into all of that. )
If you like, we can start with something... less serious. ( and maybe once she's more comfortable and assured that the simple stuff hasn't leaked, they can touch upon the deeper issues? ) Like... um. Ah! What's your favourite dessert?
( food is generally a safe topic for most people, he thinks. )
[A small nod, another deep breath. Yeah. Her secret was in safe hands, right?
Of course, the icebreaker question was a welcome start whilst she got herself comfortable.]
I mean, like... there's so many options, you know? I'm not really that picky with food, but there's nothing better than ice cream or sorbet when it's been really hot outside, you know?
[Come on, Mukuro...Just drop the act. It would be okay, wouldn't it? These days she was so used to just throwing it up whenever she was around people who didn't know the truth...]
Good choices! ( whether he's noticed the act or not, Maruki isn't telling with his reaction, simply going along with what she's saying for the moment. )
Last week, I tried some coffee ice cream from a cafe near the library. ( because he's a nerd and spends too much time at the library. ) I even got a free waffle as their 50th customer of the day.
( ... he's gonna have to go back again. they were good, too.
just a little bit of small talk, hopefully he can begin to guide the conversation towards more serious topics soon, but he wants to make her feel at ease first. )
Of course, it started melting quickly. Would an ice cream connoisseur like yourself have any tips for preventing that?
( it doesn't matter that it doesn't answer the question, they're talking, and the conversation is flowing. that's a great start, and hopefully she'll relax soon enough and feel willing to share more about herself. )
Oh, I agree. I don't often have the time to make my own in the morning, but I do enjoy them. Did you always make your own?
( just a slight change in wording to see if he can prod at her past in any way yet. )
Finding time to make them is seriously tough, isn't it? Like- even here I don't want to get out of my training routine in the morning, and back when I was deployed I-
I mean- like when I was sent out on fashion shows abroad like I seriously had even less time and that was all the organiser's job to sort out and they didn't take the time over stuff like that and so-
[That was a fumble- and a brief flash of panic came into her face as she tried to right herself, blurting out an altogether pretty bad excuse without so much as a space to breathe.
...But then she paused. This was why she was here, wasn't it? The energy just seemed to ebb out of her voice and expression. Deep down she could hear Junko's voice berating her for being an idiot.]
there it is. a crack of... something. he's not quite sure what, but a clear conflict between the story she intends to tell and the one that's true.
that's... interesting. )
It's okay. ( something's going on. maybe it's time to press harder at this crack. ) You're here to be your authentic self. This is a private space. Nobody will judge you.
[Her eyes lit up a bit as he asked about her deployment, instinctively answering his question with a quiet enthusiasm.]
Yes-
[Wait, no, she wasn't supposed to-]
No.
[But...it's as she was trying to remind herself, over and over, that's why she was here. It was like he said. It was private, here, be her authentic self.
This shouldn't be as hard as it was. It wasn't like other people here didn't know the truth- but only one of them she'd gone out and told. And she couldn't help the oppressive, lingering weight of Junko's disappointment.]
Um... it's complicated. Being 'my authentic self', I mean.
( hm. this certainly is interesting. she's having a lot of trouble with the concept, isn't she? even when she clearly seems more interested in talking about her deployment than anything else so far. )
I see. ( first things first, make sure she doesn't feel like that's a terrible thing. ) That can be difficult to do, no matter the situation. Most of us wear masks through our day — for example, adopting a different persona at work to project an aura of confidence and reliability.
( it just seems like this girl has went to a more extreme end of that behaviour. )
What do you think will happen if you drop this mask?
Sometimes. ( he's a therapist, but he's only human, okay?
though the real answer... well, that's enlightening, isn't it? his brows raise and the self-deprecating smile fades, compassion and warmth etching into his features. )
[Deep breath, Mukuro. Breathe in 2, 3, 4- hold 2, 3, 4- out 2, 3,
4- hold 2, 3, 4- Repeat- a breathing technique she'd learned during her
aforementioned deployment.
All the same, she could feel a tight squeeze in her chest as she
forced the words out. The coldness and insecurity of her true self slipping
into her expression.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
She was definitely relieved when he said it was confidential- but she had to just double check.]
...So it's definitely confidential, right? There's- there's a lot, and it's important nothing leaks out of all this, you know?
I know you said that but- I need to make sure.
[After all, she was meant to be undercover.]
no subject
I know asking you to be open about things like this can be stressful, but everything in these sessions is kept private. I answer to no one, my assistant is under strict instructions to never handle patient files, and this office is warded to prevent break ins. ( now, if she agreed to be a case study, we might have a different conversation, but he doesn't think she needs him to get into all of that. )
If you like, we can start with something... less serious. ( and maybe once she's more comfortable and assured that the simple stuff hasn't leaked, they can touch upon the deeper issues? ) Like... um. Ah! What's your favourite dessert?
( food is generally a safe topic for most people, he thinks. )
no subject
[A small nod, another deep breath. Yeah. Her secret was in safe hands, right?
Of course, the icebreaker question was a welcome start whilst she got herself comfortable.]
I mean, like... there's so many options, you know? I'm not really that picky with food, but there's nothing better than ice cream or sorbet when it's been really hot outside, you know?
[Come on, Mukuro...Just drop the act. It would be okay, wouldn't it? These days she was so used to just throwing it up whenever she was around people who didn't know the truth...]
no subject
Last week, I tried some coffee ice cream from a cafe near the library. ( because he's a nerd and spends too much time at the library. ) I even got a free waffle as their 50th customer of the day.
( ... he's gonna have to go back again. they were good, too.
just a little bit of small talk, hopefully he can begin to guide the conversation towards more serious topics soon, but he wants to make her feel at ease first. )
Of course, it started melting quickly. Would an ice cream connoisseur like yourself have any tips for preventing that?
no subject
[As for the question...well, it wasn't an answer, but hey.]
Ice cream seriously melts too fast, especially if you're standing out in the sun, huh?
...There's nothing quite like a cute home-made bento though.
no subject
Oh, I agree. I don't often have the time to make my own in the morning, but I do enjoy them. Did you always make your own?
( just a slight change in wording to see if he can prod at her past in any way yet. )
no subject
I mean- like when I was sent out on fashion shows abroad like I seriously had even less time and that was all the organiser's job to sort out and they didn't take the time over stuff like that and so-
[That was a fumble- and a brief flash of panic came into her face as she tried to right herself, blurting out an altogether pretty bad excuse without so much as a space to breathe.
...But then she paused. This was why she was here, wasn't it? The energy just seemed to ebb out of her voice and expression. Deep down she could hear Junko's voice berating her for being an idiot.]
...Why am I so bad at this?
no subject
there it is. a crack of... something. he's not quite sure what, but a clear conflict between the story she intends to tell and the one that's true.
that's... interesting. )
It's okay. ( something's going on. maybe it's time to press harder at this crack. ) You're here to be your authentic self. This is a private space. Nobody will judge you.
( okay, now for the big one; )
Do you want to talk about your deployment?
no subject
Yes-
[Wait, no, she wasn't supposed to-]
No.
[But...it's as she was trying to remind herself, over and over, that's why she was here. It was like he said. It was private, here, be her authentic self.
This shouldn't be as hard as it was. It wasn't like other people here didn't know the truth- but only one of them she'd gone out and told. And she couldn't help the oppressive, lingering weight of Junko's disappointment.]
Um... it's complicated. Being 'my authentic self', I mean.
I've not really done that a whole lot here.
no subject
I see. ( first things first, make sure she doesn't feel like that's a terrible thing. ) That can be difficult to do, no matter the situation. Most of us wear masks through our day — for example, adopting a different persona at work to project an aura of confidence and reliability.
( it just seems like this girl has went to a more extreme end of that behaviour. )
What do you think will happen if you drop this mask?
no subject
[Snapped out quickly, defensively, just- an attempt to pull the mask back up and be that standoffish, confident Fashionista...
But it quickly fizzled out.
And that got her thinking on his question.]
Someone...the person who asked me to play the part would be disappointed in me.
no subject
Sometimes. ( he's a therapist, but he's only human, okay?
though the real answer... well, that's enlightening, isn't it? his brows raise and the self-deprecating smile fades, compassion and warmth etching into his features. )
And who was that?
no subject
My sister. My- My twin sister.
[Deep breath, Mukuro. Breathe in 2, 3, 4- hold 2, 3, 4- out 2, 3, 4- hold 2, 3, 4- Repeat- a breathing technique she'd learned during her aforementioned deployment.
All the same, she could feel a tight squeeze in her chest as she forced the words out. The coldness and insecurity of her true self slipping into her expression.]
...The real Junko Enoshima.